You Never Listened
by kathiann superwoman1015
Summary: Inspired by a fanmix by Lothiriel84, and including spoilers for the last half of season 6. Things don't work out how Jane had planned, and now he's got to live with the consequences.


Written for the Paint it Red May 2014 challenge, prompt "I've got a lot to say and don't know how to say it" also inspired by the fanmix "And You Let Her Go" by Lothiriel84. The songs listed in bold all came from her fanmix which is amazing and beautiful and you should all go listen to on youtube. I'm going to label this as spoilers for the last half of season 6, just to be safe, though it takes a slightly different end to the ep "Black Hearts" the end result is the same.

**Bastille - Weight of Living Part 1 (Albatross)**

He's waited too long. He knew he should have said something sooner. The curtains to her living room are open, and he can see the scene playing out in front of him as though it was on a life sized TV screen. Down on one knee, a ring that he can see glinting through the glass and in the dark of the night, that is hiding him I shadow. He wanted her to be happy. He wanted her to not be weighed down by him and his inability to move on with his life. Too many years spent living a life that was unhealthy. Too many years spent seeking revenge and living in the past, stalled and unable to look to the future. And now that it is here, now that he is ready, it is too late. But, he will be happy for her, because she is happy. And, if she moves on, if she leaves and goes with _him_ then that is how it will be. And all the things that were never said will never let him go.

**Bo Bruce - Save Me**

"I'm getting married in the morning." She's standing in the rain, on a street corner, in the dark.

"I know." He's standing too close, and too far away.

"Why are you here?" Her arms wrapped around her body, trying to hold in heat and ward off the tears and the shivering.

"I can't let you do this." He takes a step towards her and she takes a step back.

"Let me? The night before my wedding and you can't _LET_ me?" She's angry, and hurt, and just a bit curious why, after all this time, he decides to tell her now.

"I thought you were happy. I thought that I was doing the right thing. I thought that as long as you were happy, as long as you were smiling, then it would all be ok. But it wasn't."

"I'm happy Jane. For once in a very long time I am happy." And she turns her back on him and walks away, not letting him see the tears falling from her eyes and mixing with the rain that continues to fall.

**Brian McFadden featuring Delta Goodrem - Almost Here **

He's standing beside her, on her right side, watching as she pledged her life to another. He felt the tears pricking at his eyes but swallowed hard and let her go. She was never his to begin with. They were friends, almost lovers, nothing more. They dance at the reception, like they have so many times before, one dance, slow and steady much like they had all those years before at the high school reunion. The feel of her in his arms was almost too much. He didn't stay to watch them cut the cake. He was standing in the parking lot, debating on whether he should just sleep in his Air Stream here, or if he should drive and never stop when a familiar voice sounds behind him.

"You're a coward, Jane. You always have been." He looked behind him and saw Cho, dressed to the nines looking for all his might as pissed off as Jane had ever seen him. "I know I said I never thought you two would end up together, but I thought you would have said something sooner."

And another person walked away from him, not looking back.

**Radical Face 'Welcome Home'**

The FBI was his savior once, well, Lisbon really. But the FBI brought him back. And now it was keeping him from leaving. He had to stay. Or rot in jail. There was always a choice wasn't there? But he had wanted her. He thought that she would always be there. But now she's gone. Away. Far away. Never to come back again. Why would she? There was nothing there for her. And so he lays on his couch and looks at the sleek smooth ceiling and wishes for Elvis shaped water marks and brick walls. He wishes that he never killed Red John, that he'd never once met Sheriff McAlister, or that Grace had somehow managed to shoot him on that dusty road in Napa the first time they met. He can't regret his life, because then he would be left with nothing. He did that for too long, regretting not coming home sooner, regretting not quitting the life. And now, to go on regretting. Regretting not saying something sooner. And then one day he thinks he's finally lost it. He hears her voice, just a whisper, and when he looks up, she is there.

**Passenger - Let Her Go**

"I need to know that you are ok."

"Of course I'm ok. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because it's four o'clock in the morning and you are laying on your couch in the FBI building. They frown on that here."

"You never said anything."

"I did, many times, but you never listened."

"You left."

"You let me."

"I did try to stop you."

"Too little too late."

"Why are you here?"

"Who said I'm here?"

"Dreaming? I haven't had one of these in a while."

"One of what?"

"A dream of what I can't have."

"Angela and Charlotte?"

"Not since Red John."

"But here I am."

"I let you go because I didn't think I could make you happy."

"You could have. If you'd only tried."

"You're married."

"I know."

"I miss you."

"I know."

"I love you."

"I know."

He blinks and she's gone.


End file.
